vignette

Chapter 5 - Lily

The operating room was blindingly white and freezing cold. A blue surgical drape was hoisted across my chest, cutting off my view of my lower body. The spinal block took effect quickly, turning my lower half into a heavy, sensationless block of wood.

Mark sat by my head, holding my trembling hand, his eyes shining above his surgical mask.

"You're doing amazing, Sarah," he whispered. "Almost there."

I felt strange tugging sensations, pressure without pain, like someone washing dishes inside my abdomen. The surgical team worked with practiced, rhythmic speed, communicating in crisp medical shorthand.

"Uterus incised. Clear fluid. Presenting vertex... suction ready."

Then, a sudden release of pressure.

At 3:42 AM, a sound cut through the hum of the ventilation machines. It wasn't the robust, furious cry of a full-term newborn. It was a tiny, reedy, kitten-like whimper: *Wah... wah...*

Tears flooded my vision. "Is that her?"

"That’s her," Dr. Vance smiled over the drape. "Time of birth: 03:42. A little girl."

The neonatal resuscitation team immediately swarmed the warming table in the corner. Mark squeezed my hand, his face wet with tears. "She’s crying, Sarah. She’s breathing."

"Go check on her," I urged him through chattering teeth. "Go be with her."

Mark walked over to the radiant warmer. Through the blur of my exhaustion, I saw him standing over a tiny, pink figure no longer than his forearm. The NICU team worked with incredible precision, drying her, swaddling her in sterile plastic to retain her body heat, placing a tiny CPAP mask over her nose to assist her immature lungs.

After ten minutes that felt like centuries, the lead neonatologist brought the warming isolette past my head before wheeling her out toward the NICU.

For five seconds, I saw her.

She weighed three pounds, four ounces. Her skin was translucent, her fingers impossibly tiny, tipped with perfect miniature nails. She was fighting, her little chest rising and falling beneath the monitors.

"She has your chin," Mark whispered, returning to my side and pressing his forehead against mine. "She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

"What are we naming her?" I asked weakly, feeling the heavy sedative the anesthesiologist had administered to help me rest after the surgery.

"Lily," Mark said softly. "Like you always wanted. Lily Bennett. Because she blooms even when the conditions are impossible."

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As they wheeled me into the post-anesthesia care unit, my body finally gave out, and I succumbed to an exhausted, dreamless sleep.

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